You Sexy Thing
by Olivia Brooks
Summary: Lily Potter isn't a slag. Sure, she's dated thirty-eight guys, but that doesn't make her a slag. So, when a girl titles her as such, Lily sets out to prove she's just as chaste as any other. And she's a Potter, so she'll be able to endure...right?


Disclaimer: If this all belonged to me, Neville Longbottom would have been the star of the show, and his leading lady would have been Luna Lovegood...alas, it is not so!

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Sure, it could be said that Lily Potter had dated her fair share of boys at Hogwarts (and even a girl or two, before she realized _that _would never work). But calling her a slag wasn't strictly fair. She hadn't actually gone farther than snogging with anyone but Frederick Clement, and they'd been going six months prior to all the groping. It had been her longest relationship, and Lily figured it deserved some fanfare before she ended things. Frederick, at least, hadn't seemed to mind.

In fact, of the thirty-eight people Lily had gone out with in the first five years of her Hogwarts career, she was still friends with thirty-seven of them. (And the thirty-eighth one wasn't fair to count, as he was currently residing in St. Mungo's, though not at all to do with anything Lily had done.)

So, when some obviously idiotic bint called Lily a slag--and even had the nerve to write it on every one of her robes--Lily figured she had to prove the girl wrong. After all, it wasn't really Lily's fault that the girl's boyfriend had broken up with her to get with Lily. It wasn't _Lily's _fault that she was so damn attractive. Really, if the girl wanted to blame someone, she really ought to have blamed Lily's parents for giving her the looks and confidence she needed to get what she wanted.

Still, Lily did _not _want to have to deal with being called a slag everyday for the rest of her Hogwarts life. This being said, she and Hugo devised a plan which involved a carefully thought out list, several interviews, and a lengthy study of all the applicable boys at Hogwarts.

It was difficult for someone to catch Lily's attention, you see, and even more difficult for someone to hold it. Really, with the large and varied family she had, it was hard to find someone who had talents that one of her many cousins or siblings _didn't _already fill.

You were smart? Rose surely had you beat. Handsome? No one was handsomer than James Potter--or Teddy Lupin, if you want to get technical. Good at pranks? Fred could nearly outprank his father. Pretty? Victoire had that covered. Obsessed with politics? Dominique had been arrested dozens of times for protesting. Cunning? Scorpius had it down to an art--to be fair, Lily really shouldn't have counted Scorpius as her family, but she figured he was nearly her brother-in-law, even if no one knew it yet.

Really, once she and Hugo--who, by the way, filled several slots of his own--went through the list and matched them up to their family, there was no one left standing. Absolutely no one had any interest that couldn't be found within Lily's own home.

It was sad, really, because Lily knew that no matter how hard she looked, she'd never find anyone at Hogwarts that would keep her interest for more than a few months--Frederick could be called a fluke, as Lily had spent approximately three of the six months actually around him.

As there was no boys to date, Lily decided that there was only one thing left to do; she'd go on a boy sabbatical, refusing to date anyone for at least until summer break. Besides the fact that going so long without a boyfriend would have to prove Lily wasn't a slag, it would help her concentrate on her OWL studies, which would be coming up in just six months time. Really, Rose had said, it would be only pertinent to do such.

Lily didn't rely much on what Rose said--her uncle said it had something to do with "red head dominance" whatever that meant--but when Hugo agreed, Lily made up her mind.

For the next six months, Lily Potter wouldn't do so much as snog a boy.

She promised Hugo this, but he didn't trust her, and he made her swear a wizard's oath. She wouldn't be allowed to even put her lips to a boy's; her body would freeze up, and she'd faint. A bit crude, perhaps, but Hugo argued that as long as she kept her promise, she'd be right as rain.

And for the first week, she thought she'd do fine. Because a Potter is a Potter, and while, she might not be the bravest person in the world like her father--though, Lily admitted, she wasn't half bad--another Potter quality was the ability to endure.

_Really_, thought Lily, _this is going to be cake._

Unfortunately, being right all the time was a Granger trait, not a Potter one, and Lily, like usual, was utterly wrong.

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Author's Note: So, this was going to be another chapter of _101 Potter-Weasleys_, but I think I'll make a story out of it. There are going to be six more chapters, one for each month until break, I believe, so I think seven in all will be it. Any thoughts on this so far?


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